October 19
I am beginning to have regrets, as the days become fewer and fewer until I leave America. Yesteday my former landlord called to say my apartment had been rented about 15 minutes after we put it on the market. I knew it wouldn’t last long, it was a perfect NYC apartment and I will miss it terribly – but I don’t want to think about that because it will make me terribly sad and I am afraid that if I allow myself to be sad right now I will just open some kind of floodgate of melancholy that I will be wading in for the rest of my life. But I am having regrets, for example I didn’t take my camera with me yesterday when I was in the city for a video shoot – my still camera that is – so that I could take a few more shots of the city. I just didn’t carry my camera around with me enough during the last 25 years or so that I've lived in Manhattan – I never thought I would leave.
posted by Berlinbound at 10:23 AM
4 Comments:
Oh dear, this is almost making ME cry. But it's not like you won't ever get back to NeW York again. I find I 'see' so much more of the home I left behind when we're on holidays there because I'm trying to savour every minute and make it count.
I know you're right - I was just having a blue moment there ...
Thanks for the encouragement.
I think that you're just having pre-move nervousness. You're a bit anxious about leaving your comfort zone. Think of moving to Germany as an adventure rather.
I agree with Christina, I 'see' a lot on the rare occasion I visit the US because I don't live there. I even ask friends if 'insert whatever' is normal in the US when I'm there.
oh dear. nothing is permanent. you can always go back if you are miserable and miss nyc terribly.
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