Sunday, October 30, 2005

October 30

Up at four this morning, only to learn it was actually three. My two-year-old son was also restless and started calling for me shortly after I got up. The embers in the fireplace were still red from last night’s fire, so I threw in some fresh logs and they are now gently blazing. It is as still as the middle of the night can be; the only sounds in the cabin are my fingertips on the keyboard, the occasional crackle of the fire and my son’s raspy breathing, sprinkled now and then with a whimper. Something is bothering him tonight and I wonder if it might be our upcoming move. I took him by the local airfield yesterday afternoon and we saw a small single-engine plane take off into the Autumn sky. I told him we would soon be riding in a plane, traveling to our new home. I’ve been talking with him about the move since we made the decision, trying to prepare him for it, for the leaving of familiar things and places. He has been curled up in my arms tonight, not sleeping really, just dozing, cuddling, and holding onto me and me to him. This move has stirred up so many emotions, movement does that, it causes you to make choices about what to save and what to leave behind, and those choices aren’t limited to clothing and books and mementos, but to people, relationships, expectations, dreams … things that keep you awake at night.


Blogger swissmiss said...

We moved a whole 15km back in August - the Small Boy was only six months old and I'm convinced the move unsettled him for a few weeks. The packing beforehand and the unpacking afterwards seemed to bother him the most. Your son probably will be unsettled but probably bounce back pretty quickly after the move.

8:45 AM  
Blogger mama jens said...

I am so glad to see you have been blogging (I've been sort of out of commission for awhile here.) Oh dear...the little ones and the move...the way the emotions manifest themselves in them...Its so crazy that we are in the same boat, just going in the opposite direction.

11:15 PM  
Blogger piu piu said...

so why are u moving? and why are u called berlinbound when u are moving to cologne? i've never been to cologne, but berlin is amazing.

also- what do u do? make films?

sorry for all the questions. at least it proves i'm not a spammer!

12:41 PM  

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